The Benefits of Biting Your Tongue
Sometimes the less said, the better
We can all agree there are specific individuals that we don’t look forward to talking to. In the case of family or co-workers, we sometimes don’t have a choice.
They can have personalities that unintentionally provoke an emotional response from you that, in many cases, robs you of your positive energy.
Learning how to bite your tongue, exhibit self-control, and restrain from saying what you’d like to say at that moment, is a skill that will benefit you for the rest of your life.
Examples of annoying personalities are complainers, pessimists, nosy gossipers, and arrogant individuals.
There are several more examples of personality types I could provide that push your buttons. But let’s focus on two kinds of individuals that I’m sure we can all agree often get under your skin.
The Know-It-All
A more accurate description of these individuals would be they “think” they know it all. Aren’t they just a joy to be around?
Picture a scenario where you are full of excitement when you see an acquaintance, and you proceed to tell them about the new automobile you just purchased.
They extinguish your joy and excitement by pointing out that there have been several recalls for this model vehicle, and it usually needs major engine repairs after five years.
And since it is already four years old, you could be paying up to $3000 by next year. Talk about having your bubble burst.
This individual was not interested in providing you with helpful information. While pretentiously showing off their extensive knowledge about automobiles, they were reminding you, in case you’d forgotten, how smart they are, not caring at all how it may make you feel.
It’s not a matter of whether the information was valuable or not. It’s all about the delivery. This individual could first ask what you know about the car’s history. And then deliver the message with a bit of empathy.
The Naysayers
No matter what you are trying to accomplish in your life, people will always tell you it can’t be done. It doesn’t matter whether they have any personal knowledge or experience in what you are doing.
Most of the time, you’ll hear statements like “they say” or “I’ve heard” before having a web of doubt cast on your endeavor.
After a few minutes of listening to naysayers, we could find ourselves doubting many of our plans.
Regardless of the intentions of these individuals, their statements can negatively affect your efforts in ways that you may not even be aware of.
When interacting with these individuals, your outward and inward reactions are critical in ensuring this doesn’t happen.
Don’t fall into their trap
Learning how to deal with know-it-alls and naysayers can be invaluable. The first thing to understand is what not to do or say and why.
1. No debating
Even though you may have factual information to contradict or discredit their statements, this is a waste of time. These individuals are typically bad listeners.
Debating is usually a form of arguing which will arouse unhelpful emotions within you. Emotional experiences are easily planted into your subconscious mind, where they can affect future conscious decisions without you knowing why.
2. No need to be aggressive
Lashing out aggressively with a defensive response may feel good for a few minutes, but it could negatively affect your relationship with this individual. And nothing good ever comes out of damaged relationships.
Practice self-control
No response is actually a response
The way to achieve the most desirable outcome when dealing with these individuals is to bite your tongue, smile, and nod your head.
While doing this, you are gaining your composure, allowing your mind time to come up with a more neutral, nonconfrontational response like, “Thank you, I’ll have to look into that.”
Having a short response or none at all sends a clear message that you aren’t buying the nonsense they are peddling.
I can tell you from experience that this takes practice. At first, you will have negative and defensive responses cued up in your head resting on the tip of your tongue.
But by practicing the art of biting your tongue when certain emotions arise, you are improving your intrapersonal intelligence, and it will become easier over time.
Eventually, your mind will stop tempting you with negative and defensive responses giving you more control over your emotions under any circumstance.
Strengthen your mind
Everyone has their unique goals and aspirations in life. Every day you should mentally prepare yourself for obstacles that may cross your path.
I practice meditation daily and write my thoughts in a journal. Exercising and listening to music are also ways to strengthen your mind. You will find these practices make it much easier to show self-control when necessary.
Finding what works for you will make this practice more enjoyable and increase the likelihood that you’ll stick with it.
Dealing with individuals with varying personalities, some positive and some negative, is part of everyday life’s joys and pains.
Practicing how to take control of your emotions will ensure your state of mind remains positive. And if you live each day with a positive mindset, good things are sure to come your way.
